Everything is in the Head

Don’t you ever wonder why is it so difficult to stay focused, dedicated and positive towards life all the time? There are times when you feel distraught, you don’t feel like talking to anyone, you’re in a cranky mood all the time or even little things keep on irritating you. You completely go off track. You waste your time doing nothing, pick unnecessary fights and inflate every situation beyond reasonable proportion. And on the top of it, you over think! You spend sleepless nights imagining fake scenarios that don’t even exist and put yourself in a bad mood. You spiral your thoughts into a deep web of negativity.

It is rightly said that everything is in the head. You have this weird tendency of thinking about all the ‘whaf if’ possibilities of any situation and then fussing about it. But do you ever question yourself if all this analysing and fussing even worth your time?

With time and experience, I’ve figured out that there are certain aspects that become your biggest enemy during such phases. First is, lack of self love. Before loving others, you’ve to learn the art of loving yourself first. I’m gradually learning to love myself more for the way I’m and trust me, it is keeping me much more blissful and in better spirits than before.

A golden trick to remain happy in any situation is to keep yourself busy doing things you love and enjoy doing. I love reading books so now I’ve made a routine to pick up any novel whenever I get time, specially during nights when I feel sleepless. Also, I love writing. It gives me another level of contentment and gratification. I feel the happiest when I publish my blog, I perceive I’m my most honest and pure self while writing! Doing this keeps me distracted from all the negativity revolving around me. It doesn’t give me time to worry about unnecessary or pity issues.

Another thing that keeps bothering people is distancing. When your loved ones leave or betray you, you take it way too seriously. You think as if it’s the end of the world. But my dear friend, the harsh reality is ‘nothing lasts forever‘, be it people, love, or pain. So rather than crying over those people, you should accept this harsh reality and limit yourself in advance from getting attached to people.

Mental health is very important guys, and you’re the best caretaker of your health. To be a happy and a positive person, it is very important to keep your mind stress free and healthy. It is the key which determines how you control your life. According to statistics, approximately one in four people in the UK experience mental health problem each year which is terrifying. There are various ways to deal with depression, anxiety or any sort of mental problem. But the easiest and the most effective solution I’ve found is to talk about it. Depression and loneliness go hand in hand. So I urge all of you to come out, talk about your problems and not let it kill you from inside. You realize the intensity of any problem only when you go through it, and that I know how it feels to be lonely and depressed, I’ll never want anyone to go through the same phase.

I would end this post by passing out a message to all of you: no matter if we are on talking terms or not, you want someone to talk? Give me a call or text, I promise I’ll revert as soon as possible. You want to go on a coffee? I’m always ready. You want someone to listen to your problems? I’ve got lots of time for that.

Lots of love,

Mahima ❤️

Advertisements

LovexGratitude

While I was casually scrolling my insta account yesterday, I read that one of my acquaintance lost her father. She is one of the happiest girls I know and always thought that she lead a picture-perfect life. Then I come across this news. Likewise, a few days back I heard about my schoolmates’ unexpected doom, who was hardly 23years old and the only child of his parents. I was literally just tossing and turning for two nights when I got to know about him. I don’t know why, but such instances traumatize me! Decease of even the most distant people I know leaves me in a blue state of mind.

It is such days, when I sit and wonder, how will I take such situations in life? Will I be strong enough to handle the curve ball life will throws at me? The mere thought of losing my dear ones haunt me. It’s the scariest thing I can ever conjure. I can imagine myself jobless, penny less, luxury less, but I just cannot picture myself without my parents, family, who are my strength, my mountain of support, my magnum opus! And my extended family, my friends, who add colors to my life, make me feel the happiest in their camaraderie, listen to my everyday mundane and stand with me during tough times in the best way possible.

Life looks insoluble without the army of my family and friends. I think I am just not the person who conveniently swallows the fact that ‘life goes on, with or without people’. Such phrases do make me feel good while thinking about those temporary people, who were either not meant to or didn’t deserved to be a part of my life. But over the time, I’ve apprehended that I cannot afford to lose my defined set of quality people from my life. I love them honestly, no matter what and they love the real me without any complaints. It’s these people who make me feel so content, positive, energized, and blessed with their presence in my life.

Life is indeed very uncertain. You don’t know what’s gonna happen next minute with you, with them. What’s gonna happen will anyways happen and you will not be able to stop it! All you can do, at least what I’ve started doing now is, take out a minute, express your gratitude towards them, text them, call them, snap them or tag them in a meme. Meet them over a coffee, have conversations, hug them, give them a kiss, share laughter, feed them with love, because you only live once!

It’s these people, who make our existence meaningful, add sparkle to our chronicle, stand with us during challenging times and lastly who cry when we leave the world..

Never let materialistic gains overpower relationships. You just have to find the right set of people who are worthy of your love, and love them selflessly, without any expectations. Never miss a chance to let them know how much they mean to you and never take their love for granted. Blast them with your love, trust me, that’s the best treat you can give to yourself, and others!

Forever is a lie

Why do we always tend to run after those who don’t value our affection towards them? We give our best to keep them satiated, but what do we get in return? Nothing! It’s just like watering a dead plant. And in this entire process of chasing the undeserving people, we forget to love ourself.

Always remember, there’s only one person in this world who cannot break your heart, who cannot hurt you, who you can trust blindly and love unconditionally and that is nobody else but you.

People will never get tired of your love and attention, but getting the same from them in equivalent amount is a big deal. There’s definitely nothing wrong in loving people, but never let yourself surrender in front of them. Never lose your self worth for them.

Let’s just gulp the bitter truth that eventually, people will leave you. Yes, they do! Once they get bored of you, sick of you, and get better options, they will very conveniently leave you.

The meaning of forever is still not clear to me. But whatever it is, it definitely does not do justice to it’s dictionary meaning which reads ‘for all the time’. Forever lasts only till people are comfortable with you. Once you start expecting something out of their comfort zone, they start detaching themselves from you and start looking for easy alternates. Sticking to one single person, bearing with all their flaws and tantrums is just getting harder and harder for people these days.

Your love and expectations share a direct relationship with hurt and disappointment. The more you love and expect, the more people will hurt and disappoint you.

Some people are lucky in love, they do get reunited with their ‘lost love’. But not everyone is blessed with the same destiny. Now my question is, what’s more difficult, to hold on grudges for the person you love and never go back to them or to just forget everything, take an initiative and begin everything with a fresh start?

With so many people, I remember, I have taken the first step to sort out everything, but for a few people, I have waited. I have waited for them to come first and solve things. Even I want to know how it feels when someone you love calls you after a fight, says sorry, convince you and urge you to go back to them. I want to experience the feeling of ‘ being wanted’ by others, I want to receive that text one day saying, ‘Damn I miss you, come back to me’!

Bucket list 2018! 

Hello guys!

Welcome to my first post of 2018. I’m sorry I was absent from my blog from a really long time due to exams. But now since I’m done with them, I’ll try my best to write more regularly.

This blog is quite personal as it reveals some of my bucket list, goals and changes I want to see in myself in this brand new year!

Coming back to the motif, the first and the foremost thing I’ve aimed for this year is to get over my insecurities. There are ‘n’ number of things I’m anxious about, and my body ranks on the top of that list. I’ve decided to work on it, make myself fitter and healthier and win over the demon of body shaming.

The second thing, which is equally important for me is to work on my future. Yes, I’m in my final semester and being an average student academically, it’s high time I do backbreaking labour to secure a seat in some decent college. It’s time to be conscienctious and gear up for the next phase of my life.

In terms of friendship, 2017 was definitely one heck of a catastrophic year. While some really decent new friends were made,special ones showed me the exit door from their life. Saw the real faces of many well wishers and realized that ‘best friend’ is just a tag if you don’t mean it. Hence, I earnestly pray to God that this year, please keep me away from fake and negative friends, friends who don’t have faith in me, and definitely backstabbers and the mean ones. With the fresh start this year, I want to befriend quality people only!

Next, overthinking has been my biggest enemy last year, and I desperately want to blow it away this time. It has been a reason behind my thousands of sleepless nights, dark circles, and always putting myself in a bad mood for no reason. So in 2018, I’ll make an effort to sleep more and worry less.

Lastly (not lastly), being a typical social media savvy, I feel I invest so much of time in my phone that it takes away my ‘me time’ from myself. There’s still a lot I need to explore about myself, about the world! So from my now onwards, more of exploring places, less of uploading it’s pictures, more of studying knowledgeable stuff, less of exploring insta feed, more of discovering myself, and less of chatting and socializing!

P.s You guys are most welcome to share some hacks to help me complete my bucket!
Tada!

Acceptance is the Key 

We know two types of people in this world. One, who enjoy rain and second, who hate it. Since it is a natural phenomenon and we can’t do anything about it, rather than complaining about it, shouldn’t we adore it? Similarly in our life also, there are some situations you really can’t alleviate. For example losing your loved ones, dismay, betrayal etc. You strive to be the best to keep life flawless but some events are really not in your hands. So rather than kicking up a fuss, we should search for positivity and goodness in it. Now obviously, finding good in death of your loved ones is impractical, but if you prepare yourself in advance for it and accept it, it will be easier for you to cope up with that tough time. 

The second noble truth of Buddhism states:

Desire is the root of all suffering.

Desire is a never ending craving for a better state. People always lure for more and more. More happiness, more money, more travel, more friends. And because of this, they miss out on enjoying the little things around them. 

We keep on complaining about our lives and forget appreciating what we already have which others might be longing for! So instead of beefing about what we don’t have, we should learn to cherish what we already possess. 

The attitude of letting go is the ultimate happiness formula! The more we over-think about the negativity around us, the more unhappy our soul would be. It’s not possible to match up with people around us. We are unique individuals and we just cannot be like anyone else. So rather than trying to become like someone else, we should embrace the flaws that we have. 

Also, acceptance should not be confused with compromise. Never compromise on something you feel you deserve better. Be strong enough to let go and patient enough to wait for the better. 

I don’t think there’s any particular parameter of happiness. Even the most successful person can be unhappy with his life but a poor man might be satisfied. You don’t need to wait to be happy or tag your happiness subject to any conditions. 

So let’s start accepting what we are, what we have and be happy with it and celebrate the little joys and pleasures that life bestows us with! 

Thank you!! 


LET CREATIVITY RULE

An economist named Dan Ariely, conducted a workplace experiment of paying the employees on the basis of their performance. The logic behind this was to motivate the employees to work harder by offering them high monetary incentives. A positive relation was expected between performance and pay, but to everyone’s surprise high incentives resulted in decreased level of performance. Yes! Surprising right?

This phenomenon, known as ‘choking under pressure’ occurred mainly because of shift in mental stimulation from automatic to controlled. It restraints focus and blocks our creativity. Hence, an effort to increase motivation beyond an optimal level can hamper the performance.

”For better results, self engagement is the best”

One should not get crazy running after the bonanza. Instead we should set ambitious targets, focus on them and strive to achieve them but never let that shackle our creativity zone.

When people fail in meeting their objectives, they often face hysteria. They use wrong tactics to win; cheat, lie or even fall into depression after failing. And amongst all this hassle, what suffers the most is their creativity, talent and enthusiasm towards work.

I strongly believe that for self-progress and self-contentment, rather than running after targets  set by the world, one must set their own goals, which pushes them to be better, more creative, more dedicated and more gratified.

It is rightly said that patience is the key. The path might seem a little longer, but the journey will definitely be much more enduring and satiating!

Why to hate someone? 

Loving people truly is a task of utmost sincerity and I admire those who practice it. After all, it involves giving your hundred per cent to meet their expectations, keeping them pleased all the time and not giving them any reason to leave you. 

Certainly it’s not easy and undeniably,  not my cup of tea! I believe in rewards and if I don’t get any attractive ones, I don’t feel like investing my efforts. I appreciate those who love people around them without any contemplations. I have been a prey of disappointment, melancholy and stress as an outcome of actually loving someone legitimately and hence I have surrendered now. I value each and every drop of tear that belongs to me and shed it only for those who deserve it. 

But the question is, why to hate those who don’t love you or don’t give you positive vibes? Can’t we just be neutral to them? Some people can be, but I simply cannot. 

Hating people you don’t love is relaxing, yes it is. From that I don’t mean to hurt them, but just detest them. You are at peace because you stop expecting anything from them, and so you are free from getting hurt.   Hating is much more easier and effortless than loving someone. You don’t have to go head over heels to keep anyone  satisfied. Being honest about your hatred for people is better than faking out love for them just to be in their good books. After all, you cannot always be a good person for everybody. It’s important to be honest to others and yourself too. 

No doubt, loving people is much more rewarding at the end, but only those who are worth it, else it’s a mere waste of time!