Just Listen :)


Sometimes all they want from us is to just listen to them with an open heart & mind, pay attention to them, let them vent out, be their shoulder to cry on. They do not expect any solutions or reply from us, they just want to speak their heart out without any expectations of judgment from us. We think that they are expecting a reply from us, but on contrary they don’t want any solution, but just an ear to listen.

Personally, being a good listener helps us broaden our horizon by getting exposed to other’s ideas, opinions and perspectives. We can learn so much by just being a good listener. Socially, it fosters our relationships with others. People start relying on us. There can be nothing better than being an exceptional listener to somebody. Very often, when someone shares his/her problem with us, we ‘reply’ them telling issues we are dealing with in our life. But does that reduce their pain or makes them feel any better? No! So here’s what you should do rather:

Empathize with them, put yourself in their shoes. If you first seek to understand, you will find yourself being better understood. Don’t be afraid of long silences. Human communication involves much more than words.

Hope you liked this short & honest blog, do share your feedback! 🙂

Much Love!

Email- mahimajalan.noida@gmail.com 

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Don’t Be Happy

This one really hit hard to me. I have been pretty much productive after lockdown, which gave me a sense of pride, contentment, and sanity. Until a few days back, even after having ample work to keep myself busy, I had a constant battle with my thoughts, I felt void, unhappy, and mentally sick. I was done with everything. I even took a break from work, but that made things even worse as over-thinking took over. THE ONE WHO TALKS ABOUT POSITIVITY, GRATITUDE, AND LOVE ON HER PAGE FOUND ALL THE THREE MISSING IN HER LIFE!
But the show must go on, so did I. I worked, kept myself engaged, and convinced myself to be okay. Until last night at 3 am when I was done scrolling social media and realized how everyone is battling their own struggles. I realized I had first world problems which were nothing in comparison to those whose life apparently looked perfect. I immediately texted my best friend and ranted about all that was going in my head. She, like always, was a perfect listener & advisor. And after the entire episode, trust me, I felt so much better! I realized I should not pile up stuff in my head, forcefully make myself happy, and unnecessarily keep myself busy. Rather, just vent out everything going on in my head. IT REALLY WORKS!

Who all goes through the same? Share your thoughts! 🙂

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Turn ON your ZEN Mode

With a lot of free time in hands, thanks to lockdown, I am sure everyone is hooked to their phones. We know there’s nothing new happening in the outside world, still we are tempted to check Instagram and Snapchat now and then. Social media has become even more addictive (though dull) from the last couple of months.

All I see is people posting ways to keep themselves busy at home. Sometimes it inspires me, but many times, it bothers my mental piece. It sparks a competitive vibe in me, it makes me doubt my productivity level and makes me feel envious of other people’s talent.

Thankfully by reading some self-help book and articles, I realized that everyone is not the same and nobody is your competition. Your only competition is ‘YOU’ and be it lockdown or no lockdown, you have to work on making yourself better from your current version, and not from others.

It was pretty evident to me that my biggest enemy/distraction hampering my ‘ZEN’ state is my phone. My average screen time per day is 8 hours which is insane! Paradoxically, sometimes the best thing our phones could do is encourage us to put them down for a bit and drive our attention elsewhere. It was high time to turn my Zen mode on, so I figured out ways to engage myself, and trust me it worked, my screen time has reduced from last 5 days, I feel more productive, content and positive. So what I did was:

  • Read Novels (Currently Reading Sapiens)
  • Mandala Art (Cannot stress enough on how meditative, relaxing and engaging this activity is)
  • Journaling (My all-time stress-buster)
  • Cooking (I mean helping my mom in cooking)

Time to turn on your ZEN mode guys, share how you guys do it, would love to know and try that! 🙂

Connect with me on:

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Social Media Negativity

This post is especially about negativity on ‘social media’, which has become an inseparable toxic part of our life. We spend most of our time on phone scrolling on social media checking what is happening in other’s people life. Undeniably, we have a realisation that it is vandalizing our mental health, leaving a negative impact on our minds. We portray our happiest sides on social media, but when we see the same of others, let’s not deny, we sometimes unwantedly feel insecure, wretched or jealous. For instance, if you are unhappy with your job while at the same time you see your friend posting happy pictures working in his office, you might feel envious. This is human nature and there’s no running away from it. But thanks to social media, no matter how much we attempt to stay positive, it drags us into the pool of negative emotions.

I have tried ‘n’ number to times to uninstall social media apps from my phone, but that has not happened for more than 25 days! I tried diverting myself by reading books, watching shows, blogging and what not but failed to get away from it. I resist as much as I can but then social media has become that inseparable part of my life, that no matter how hard I drive myself, I get back into this toxic relationship. I even ‘unfollowed’ a few accounts which I felt are not doing any good to me. But all this hardly made a minor difference to me.

I am still as addicted to social media as I was earlier, in fact even more now (thanks to lockdown), my mind is over-consumed with unhealthy updates about other people’s lives, I devote hours stalking people I barely know (and then form my opinion about them) and last but not the least, I compare my life with their life (without having any slightest idea about what’s going on the other side of their life which they have not put on social media).

I can see it’s already taking a toll on me. So before it goes beyond accepted limits, please suggest to me what do you guys do to dodge social media negativity? NEGATIVITY

Disappointment

Disappointment is a feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the non-fulfilment of one’s hopes or expectations. It is a part and parcel of life, and one should be able to understand it & deal with it. While some people choose to stay with this feeling for long, some overcome it in a jiffy and move on. Every time you feel disappointed, you should try to overcome it and come out stronger. There are certain ways that I am going to share, through which dealing with disappointment might become easier. Firstly, ‘keep your expectation level low’, like super low. The more you expect, the more you will end up getting disappointed. If you expect perfection, please adjust your expectations. Secondly, ‘accept it’. Easier said than done, but if we learn the art of acceptance, disappointments will look less scary. Don’t try to push it away or hide it under a big smile. Let the emotions flow, it might hurt for a while, but in the long run, it will feel less painful and more relaxed. Thirdly, ‘learn from it’. Every failure comes with a lesson. You have to discover what went wrong and ensure to not repeat that next time. Setbacks and disappointments are an indication of living your life fully. A sign of you trying to grow and improve your situation. You have to realize that one failure or disappointment does not mean the end of the world. In fact, it opens door to bigger and better things. A slight change in perspective can help you lead a happier life. Now it is up to you to decide the kind of life you want to live! One cannot completely eliminate the feeling of disappointment from his head, but with little change in perception, one can achieve the ability to handle it with much ease.

P.s I have created a new Instagram account (https://www.instagram.com/themillennialwriter1/) Please show some love.

So I am doing an A-Z Alphabet Challenge there, where every day I talk little about a topic in alphabetical order. So this post is also taken from there as today’s letter was ‘D’. If you are on Instagram, I would be glad if you show your love and support there as well, let’s build a stronger community and support each other. My purpose of creating an account there is to be more consistent with writing and connect with more people of this community.

Thank You!

 

Life’s Amazing Secrets: Book Recommendation

Black and White Pet Cat Valentine's Day Instagram PostHello WordPress family,

This is the first time I am posting something like this. It’s a book review, no wait, not exactly a review, but a recommendation. A few days back, I started reading “Life’s Amazing Secrets by Gaur Gopal Das”, and trust me, no book has inspired me to this extent before (The Secret by Rhonda Byrne ranks second). In such tough times when everyone is stuck in their house, feeling mentally exhausted, your mind calls for some daily dose of positivity.

In every page of the book, like literally, there is a stimulation of positivity and motivation. From every instance recited by Gaur Gopal Das, we learn something, and if we imply that ‘something’ in our lives, problems will look much smaller, mind much more stress-free, and we will start sensing an abundance of love and gratefulness in our life.

In this book, Gaur Gopal talks about 4 wheels of life that keep it going: Personal Life, Relationships, Work Life, and Social Contribution. He talks about every wheel in-depth and narrates instances which unfolds words of wisdom.

I have jotted down some of my favourite excerpts from the novel which I am going to share with you all, although in every page there is something to absorb, these are my most favourite ones which made me reassess my principles of life:

  • When we comfort someone, it is important we bring positive non-judgemental energy into conversations.
  • Behind every smile, people are going through struggles we know nothing about.
  • When negativity consumes the mind, not only do we lose the vision to see beautiful things around us, but also the ability to solve the problems that confront us.
  • Gratitude is not merely an emotion, it is a way of life which can be learnt and practised.
  • Do we have a problem in life? No? Then why worry? Yes? Can we do something about it? No? Then why worry?
  • Anyone can find dirt in someone, be the one that finds gold.
  • Learning the art of appreciation is vital for building healthy relationships.
  • Hotheads do not give good feedback, choose a better time.
  • If we need to give corrective feedback, we should invest tonnes of praise and trust into a person before doing so.
  • While forgiving, look beyond the situation, separate the person from the episode and think of higher purposes of forgiving.
  • To find your purpose in life, you must go on a journey of self-discovery.
  • Understanding our purpose takes patience and dedication.
  • Foundation of growth is understanding who you are.
  • You can only compete with yourself if you have a clear idea about your potential, your capacities and your limitations.
  • If you do what you love, you will never have to work a day in your life.
  • We can only give to others what we possess.
  • A good character has to do with our actions, not words.
  • Enjoy your life like an ice-cream before it melts!

I highly recommend everyone to get this book, it will surely leave a positive impact at the forefront of your thoughts!

Happy Reading!

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Consistency Battle

While quarantine is giving me enough time to read a lot on WordPress, know about the blogger community and get a hang of this website, I attempted to utilize this opportunity to the maximum by structuring my home page, adding menus, including an introduction, reposting a blog on my current favorite word “consistency” and so on (this I was totally ignorant of before).

I also did a course in “The Art of Blogging: Beginners Essentials” from https://learn.artofblogging.net/collections. The course ended up being extremely thought-provoking for me and made me wonder how “inconsistent” I have been in writing blogs. Also to mention, I have received an immense amount of love and motivation from the blogger network; each time I posted a blog, the insights showed signs of improvement and all the more promising. The comments are so overwhelming and positive. And my favorite part, when a fellow blogger comment on my post “this is so relatable..”, then I feel my purpose of writing a blog is solved!

Coming back to the consistency factor, how about we talk in numbers first. I wrote my first post in July 2017 and since then, I have written “just” 13 blogs which means roughly 4 blogs per year, disappointing much! These statistics force me to question my ability, my seriousness, my diminishing level of motivation and my lack of hard work and commitment towards my ambition.

I feel blessed to have all that needs to be a blogger: skills, innovation, originality, enthusiasm. Then what’s missing? Lack of inspiration? Lack of zeal? Or on the other hand perhaps a main driving force?

shutterstock_601623479

With every new blog post, I promise myself to be more consistent with my writing yet it just doesn’t materialize. Either I am out of topics, or busy with my assignments, or even if I sit and write I am just not able to complete the entire post. The procrastination game is real.  Also, let me tell you all, I don’t write just for the sake of hobby or time pass, but it is significantly more to me. It’s my stress-buster, my career (hopefully), my only forte. Then what are the possible reasons for my inconsistency?

I would be glad if you all suggest me ways I can be more consistent and serious with my blogging, would love to have some constructive feedback and suggestions!

Thank You

Thank You Corona

Dear Corona,

Individuals have been grumbling about you, reviling you and jabbering negative about you, yet I am here to thank you. Indeed, you read it right! I want to convey you a big thank you. I am very well aware that you are causing a ton of ruckus to everyone which I prefer not to discuss as everything is already out there on news portals and social media. Lately, all this has been building a lot of pessimism in our heads thus I thought to look at the bright side of your presence.

If two months back someone would question me “what kind of a life do you want to live?”, I swear I would have replied, ”laying on the bed, reading, learning, eating and all chilling” and guess what, I got it!

Thank you for making me experience life from by and large an alternate point of view. I am on lockdown from last the 10 days and will remain for another 15 days at least. Self-isolation isn’t that problematic, I think I am managing it somewhat well. It has taught me to acknowledge little things even more, which went unnoticed prior. My heart is brimming with gratitude for outside air, home-made food, a secured roof, family and friends all safe and secure, my University, laptop, phone and everything that I possess which is helping me survive this quarantine phase. It becomes challenging at times, but the thought that self-isolation is the only panacea for this pandemic, I am gradually settling towards the modus operandi of sitting at home and be more productive and less lethargic every day. I am doing small internships and earning paltry sum from home, completing my college assignments, doing household chores (which I never did before), spending time with family and connecting more with friends and relatives. I give due credits to this pandemic situation for making all this happen, which otherwise my timetable never permitted.

Looking at the bright side of the situation, I am glad that I can commit additional time and effort to everything, which earlier happened in a brief timeframe. Be it my assignments or taking a shower, I am giving every task a good measure of time. So much of bonus time is giving me a chance to think about zones I need to work upon, propensities that I need to develop/change, opportunities that I should grasp and so forth! Skincare which seemed merely impossible in my hectic schedule has become a routine now. Cooking, which has not been even at the base of my rundown of abilities has become my try-on thing for now, and I hope I would be able to learn survival cooking by the end of the lockdown phase. Writing blogs, which is substantially more than a hobby to me, was tough for me to prioritize due to my assignment deadlines. But all this is now happening, all thanks to corona!  Quarantine constrains us to make changes to our day by day life that we should keep after this phase too. I am grateful to each individual like my home assistance, staple seller, police and so on, who add to making my life simpler. I value places and individuals all the more at this point.

This one who is to all those who are getting cranky and frustrated at home, be appreciative to have a roof above and food on your table. We all are facing some sort of challenges but the only way to get out of it is to stay at home, and chill!

Royalty-Free Stay Home Stock Images, Photos & Vectors | Shutterstock

Stay Home Stay Safe!

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22 Lessons from 2019

As I turned 22 this year, here goes 22 lessons that 2019 taught me (In random order):

  1. Love Yourself: You cannot love others if you don’t love yourself. This year I learnt to accept, embrace and love the way I am as much as possible. Don’t ever doubt on yourself, kill all your insecurities and live every moment loving and pampering yourself!
  2. Love Others Immensely: After loving yourself, comes loving people around you be it your friends, family, peers, and even the most random people you meet on streets. Trust me, you will always get double the love back you give.
  3. Don’t Hold on Grudges for Too Long: Anger is probably my biggest enemy which literally has ruined so many of my relationships. People always don’t act according to me and obviously that pisses me off at times, eventually me holding grudges forever. But honestly that led me nowhere. So, this year was all about anger management, letting go off and bearing maximum.
  4. Forgive & Forget: Followed by the last point, comes this one. Forgiving people is still easy, but forgetting their mistakes is a challenge. Always give people a second chance and forget what they did to you. This might help you in future as its always not the other person who makes mistakes.
  5. Lower the Expectations Higher the Satisfaction: This year was all about lower expectations and lesser disappointments. It was, and it will be more about delivering and less about expecting returns.
  6. Don’t Cry Over People: Attachment is a human tendency, but the sad reality is that the more you are attached to people higher the chances they’ll end up hurting/leaving you! Trust me if I say this but nobody stays forever, except your family.
  7. Don’t Judge People: “If you judge people, you have no time to love them” by Mother Teresa are words to swear by! We have no clue about what people are going through in their lives and the story behind why they are the way they are.
  8. Make Friends Wisely: Friends are the family we choose, so this year I analyzed who my genuine friends, worked on my existing friendships, discarded toxic people and made friends who matched my wavelength.
  9. Don’t Make Enemies: Spread zero hatred, don’t be a hater, try not to be hostile towards people you don’t like and leave positivity wherever you go.
  10. Respect Other’s Opinion: You don’t grow and evolve by arguing with others, you grow and evolve by gaining new insights, opinions and perspectives. Respecting and appreciating other’s perspective will not prove you wrong.
  11. Take Criticism Well: Constructive criticism helps us improve in areas we should. This year I tried to take criticism in a healthy manner, and rather than getting offensive, I gave a thought on why people felt so and what can I do to change their opinion. To grow and evolve as a person, it is important to accept mistakes, learn from them & rectify them.
  12. Socialize & Network: I spent so much of my time this year networking and socializing with people from different genres and streams. Being a mass communication student, it really helps interacting with different people every day.
  13. Procrastinate Less: I am big couch potato spending maximum time scrolling Instagram and Snapchat. Be it doing assignments, studying for my exams or writing blogs (which ideally, I enjoy doing), I have done everything right before the deadline. In 2020 I will not only to try to procrastinate less but get things done in advance.
  14. Self-Introspect: It’s so important to give time to yourself, sit alone and do some introspection to analyze which path you should take ahead in life. “Me time” is extremely essential for self-development.
  15. Maintain a Balance: This generation is going through major FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). Hence, it is important to maintain a balance between your personal and professional life. One should not get so lost in working that they forget to enjoy their lives because “you only live once”!
  16. Give Yourself a Break: In the hustle-bustle of lives, we get so lost that we forget to give ourselves a “much needed break”. This year I ensured to give myself break, take small trips, skipped a few important tasks and gave myself a chill pill
  17. Advocate for Yourself: In a world full of people who leave no chance to let you down, I strongly feel its important to have a voice of our own, take a stand for ourselves and not entertain anyone’s bullshit!
  18. Read/Write: Reading and writing is one great habit, be it only on topics that interest us. I know our lifestyle does not allow us to stay focused to sit and read/write every day, but this one habit literally makes me feel 1000 times better and I don’t mind feeling this good on a regular basis.
  19. Be Productive: At this point of my life, when I am on the peak of shaping my career, I feel just attending lectures, coming back home and submitting assignments is not being productive. Its much more than that. It’s about doing extra than your peers, working double hard, exploring opportunities and exploiting them before anyone else does.
  20. Be Ambitious: Without a set ambition, there is no point of just working hard. It’s important to set bigger goals and work everyday to achieve them.
  21. Stay Motivated: To get motivated after watching motivational videos is easy but remaining motivated and focused till the end is a challenge, which I wish to do now. Nothing great comes without compromise, and a little compromise now will give us better results in future.
  22. Be Grateful: I started doing gratitude exercise at the beginning of the year and it changed my thought process tremendously. At the end of the day, it’s all about being thankful to god for the amazing life he has given us!

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